Castles and Chagal

Wednesday in Kent.
A big excitement filled the room, Woo wanted to see a real castle and this was about to become real. Cat wanted to go to a church where windows were crafted by Chagal. Cat's friend Gael the Womble had told her it was a must. Narna called her father Bob Knower of Things and Obscure Meanings and asked for his assistance with the day. SatNav's were organised and the convoy set off. The weather in the Weald had again proved itself to be kind and merciful. A soft sun and a brisk breeze kept the travellers comfy and ready to search and explore.
First stop was the Church - All Saints at Tudley (pronounced Two-dlee)..While Tudley had been occupied well before the Romans the Church had come into during the last years of King Edward the confessor. This dates the site back to 1066
Marc Chagal was commissioned to create a stained glass window to commorate the 1963 death of  Sarah Goldsmid.
The blend of Ancient and Modern in the Church held the trio in awe.
Princess Sia wrote in the visitors book, and they all left, hurridley.
The Weald of Kent was famous for its hops and Oast Barns were everywhere. Fortunately Panda took lots of photos as Cat managed to wipe hers from her camera - modern camera's far to many buttons.

Hever Castle
The home of Anne Bolyn, a magnificent castle with two moats and a a fragrant rose garden that enveloped the senses.
The Castle was all that Woo had hoped the 13th century set in magnificent grounds.
It was at the castle that Woo was embarrassed by a small frightened boy asking his father, in the rich plummy tones of the very British UC, "Where are those people from Father?" "Don't be afraid Tristan they are from Australia".
Not only had the trio acquired accents but apparently they had descended on Hever Castle like a flock of screaming galahs.
That was another thing thought Cat about having acquired an accent, I am finding it very difficult to understand what people are saying.

Panda spent the day chatting to Bob the Knower of Things and was beginning to blend in and look much like a badger.

Apart from the incident involving the purchasing of postcards it was a perfect day.

Cat had decided to purchase a postcard and lined up politely behind a woman involved in the simple task of purchasing a season ticket. The woman began to make the simple task extremely complicated and involved questioning the rather large bored teenager in the booth about all possible permutations
"If my husband doesn't come can I still use .....blah blah blah."

Woo watched in trepidation as she saw Cat, her ears flattening and foot tapping. All the signs were there of a Cat about to explode and rip the booth to shreds.
She whispered as quietly as a an Australian can "DO WE REALLY NEED THESE POSTCARDS?"
Cat placed the postcard on the booth's ledge and with a dark and threatening look towards the oblivious teenager who remained totally disengaged from everyone including the thick woman buying the season ticket.

Cat began a cruel mocking imitation of the woman and Woo listened amused and relieved to have distracted  Cat.

A meal of Fish and Chips. Cod and chips with curry sauce and peas. A very English meal.

High Tea at High Rocks

Princess Sia

Another exceptional day for the Weald, bright and shiny, enough warmth in the sun, just enough chill in the air for a balanced and agreeable day. The routine of things was beginning, Woo curled up on the floor was awakened by Cat rummaging around in the square meter of a kitchen looking for tea and toast. Cat would brew tea and make cheese on toast . Both would sit, Woo on the floor, Cat on a chair and plan the day ahead. What did they want to visit today?. Woo started, “Marks and Sparks.”

“And Tescos,” said Cat, “Postcards.” The list went on until it was whittled back later by Narna the Wise to Victoria Shopping Centre and High Rocks.

Panda snoozed through the deliberations happy to go with whatever was happening. Once the Princess was awake he was on call anyway, he needed his rest.

Victoria Shopping Centre revealed much about the British way of life. Some of which horrified Panda, to park in the shopping centre cost several pounds. No such thing as a free park. Marks and Spencers was a revelation. It seems that the British like all their food pre-cooked and wrapped in plastic. Amazing food from all over the world could be unwrapped, shoved in an oven and Wha-Lah gourmet meal for dinner.

As the Princess demanded the shopping cruise end the next part of the tour began. The journey to High Rocks.

These rocks were named in the 15th century because they were indeed high. Imagination is a highly prized gift in the UK.

The Inn at the High Rocks served a particularly lovely lunch, in a particularly lovely garden. The English knew gardens that was for sure thought Cat as she spied the expanse of green and the ordered rows of flowers. Except for the curios habit of bringing their dogs.

The Princess freed from her perambulator ran her toes through the grass and headed off to explore the garden with Panda a respectful distance behind.

Meals were ordered in the lower front bar. This proved to be an extraordinarily difficult experience for Cat. It appeared that in the process of travelling from Brisbane to Kent Cat had acquired an accent. The Argentinean waiter had difficulty understanding Cat and Cat’s Spanish was limited to Hey Hose and Ariba Ariba , which did not help with ordering the beer at all. It seemed that yes they had no coronas’ and ended with a sliver of lime placed in all beer, cider and Pepsi. Narna came to the rescue and confused the Argentinean even more. Woo and Cat began to softly sing in the background,

Don’t buy for me Argentina, The truth is we don’t understand you
Have you Coronas, have you cider, not to be rude
Can you decipher.

The lunch and the service made up for it all.

After exploring the rocks and the carvings dating back to the 1700’s. “ Graffiti is not new at all,” mused Panda.

The journey home saw an exhausted Panda and Princess doze off. At home Andy Pants was channelling Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall and prepared a delicious Thai Green Curry from first principles. Not a plastic wrapper in sight. All the vegetables were from his garden. The chicken may have come hermetically sealed.

Nonetheless the meal was the perfect end to a perfect day.

Dogs In Pubs

The trio arrived tired and worn out at Heathrow. They survived the long walk through customs, solved the mystery of the lost African boy, Panda  greatly relieved that there was no need for a cavity search. Woo was just that little bit disappointed.

Neither Cat, Panda nor Woo had expected the walk to the baggage carousels to be so long. They walked half way to London to collect their bags and trudged on to the exit.

All at once Woo burst into tears as Dana Banana (aka Narna) and Andy came into view. It had been a long, long time for Woo and her best friend in the whole wide world. Now they could laugh and talk together they cried very happy tears.

Woo and Narna hugged and cried some more. Andy smiled. Cat and Panda stood back, even Cat knew this was a special moment for Woo.

Andy took charge and led the troop back to the car where he fit all the bags and ports in neatly. Panda, Cat and Woo shared the back seat and it was a very tight fit.

In Pembury the house where Narna and Andy lived was built in Victorian times, it was then the Gardener’s Cottage. The old coach house next door had been converted into a home and the manor house belonged to a forensic accountant. Andy promised to show the trio his allotment when there was time.

In the Gardener’s Cottage lived the beautiful Princess Sia. She rules wisely, her rules are simple, do what I want , when I want and all will be well. Cat was delegated the task of reading stories as soon as she arrived. Sleeping arrangements were sorted, Woo got the couch and Panda and Cat the cellar.

First evening in England Andy arranged for dinner at the Black Horse. This is an old English Pub dating from 12th century. Best of all to Andy and Panda’s glee it was a bank holiday special and the meal, a lovely roast was free.

At the Black Horse , Sia’s Grumps and Grammy came to eat and play as well. It was a grand night.

The three travellers came home to the house of the Princess and went to bed and slept and slept.

Monday – Day One in Pembury

Woodland walk in Pembury

In the morning or rather later in the morning, closer to lunch time, the intrepid travellers walked through a woodland and visited a grave yard. The Princess began to tire and was carried some of the way home in Panda’s arms.

Andy came home from work and the entourage set out to find another Olde Worlde establishment. Panda was looking forward to another meal, Cat was excited to see another building from the 15th century, Woo had twigged that they were on a pub crawl though Kent.

Arriving at the Mark’s Cross they enjoyed fish and chips and Woo had her very first English bangers and mash. All three were in tourist heaven.

Then Woo exclaimed “They have dogs in the Pub”.

“Yes dogs are allowed in English pubs,” Narna gave a matter- of- fact reply.

“Really??” said a surprised Panda a little confused about health and safety rules. There are none.

Lucille of Marks Cross

“We are in a Pub? With Dogs!!!!”, Cat called out as she wrapped her claws around a beam supporting the rather low 15th century ceiling.

The party moved outside to battle wasps and let the Princess run free. Woo held back and talked to the dogs for a while, Lucille had been bitten by an adder and was feeling sorely.

n the garden the view was stunning. A dalmatian and a couple of terriers sat well behaved and relaxed with their human servants soaking up the warmth of the day. The Princess ran like an unruly puppy set free from a leash. Her entourage, taking shifts, tried to keep up with her. Finally all were so exhausted they came home, had toast for tea and fell into a deep exhausted sleep.

Monday was over it was a day in which day Woo had found links to her perhaps heritage, for there guarding Marks Cross was a rather regal owl, Panda discovered dogs in Pubs. Cat discovered God was probably English and that she was second place to the Princess.

All was right in the world.

Singapore swings

A night of cramp and discomfort for Panda and Cat as they attempted to curl up and under two seats that were perfect for size 8 bottoms, but nowhere near big enough for XXXL. Woo had managed to score the seat in front of Cat and Panda. As luck would have it she was sitting next to a bejewelled Rosella. It happened that Ramon worked as a window dresser for David Jones and on his way to Siberia for a holiday and a sable hat. Cat questioned the ethics of  a bird wearing the pelt of an animal. Ramon replied that he did not actually kill the sable so it was ok. The logic appealed to Cat in a warped way.
At Singapore airport whie exchanging money for a cup of tea, Cat dropped her passport and was saved by a quick pick up by Woo. Panda still does not know.
Another 13 hours to go.
What larks will be had on the second leg